Welcome to El Roi

  As Christian women, we are bombarded with a ton of mixed messages, both from Christianity and the culture we live in. These messages often contradict each other, even when they come from the same source. We expect secular culture and Christianity to give us different messages, but why do so many Christian messages contradict each other?

 What does the Bible say? What did it mean in the original languages and the contemporary culture in which it was written? Does our modern English translation reflect the original intent of the original authors? How has 21stCentury Western culture applied its own meanings to ancient customs and cultures?

 A lot of Christian women are hurting today. We have suffered abuse in our past. We have been given false messages about that abuse, about mental health, and about our abusers. I wanted to start a blog to help Christian women, both young and old, navigate through these messages, separate the wheat from the chaff, and begin a journey of healing.

 And I know that you're asking yourself, what does El-Roi mean? It means “The God Who Sees.” So often we feel invisible, abandoned, alone in our pain, and forgotten. Modern churches offer no solace, often blaming us for abuses against us, telling us to “forgive,” to “turn the other cheek,” or even telling us that it “wasn't that bad.”  If we are believed at all.

 I take the name of this page from the story of Hagar. She was enslaved, raped, impregnated by that rape, and then abused by the woman who arranged the rape. Later, Haggar and her child were cast out to die alone in the desert by her abusers. Her child had been the apple of his rapist father's eye for 12 years, but was unceremoniously cast aside when The Promised Child was finally born.

 Have you recognized the story of Abraham and Sarah (or Abram and Sarai, as they were called when this story took place)? We tend to see the beauty of God fulfilling His promise to Abraham and Sarah to give them a miracle baby. But we often tend to overlook the tragedy of Hagar, Sarah's handmaiden. We tend to gloss over the implications of the familiar words “Sarah gave Abraham her handmaiden, and he slept with her, and she became pregnant.”

 This was rape. This was not God's will for any of the three adults, or either child, involved. Today we still suffer the consequences of one couple's savage, cruel decision. Descendants of Ishmael and descendants of Isaac are still at war with each other, thousands of years later.

 God forgave Abraham and Sarah for this unforgivable act. He blessed Ishmael and made him the father of many nations. He rescued Hagar and Ishmael when they were nearly dead from thirst and hunger. And today we remember Abraham for his patience and belief that God would give him the promised son. Jesus Himself traces His human lineage through that promised son Isaac. And in our focus on Abraham and Sarah, we often totally overlook, ignore, and dismiss Hagar and her suffering.

 And that is where so many of us are today. We have been overlooked, ignored, and dismissed. We may have been abused by powerful men who were enabled by powerful women, and our suffering was not taken seriously, or even believed to begin with.

 This site is for the Hagars of the world. Those who feel abandoned. Who feel unseen. Who feel as if those in power do not care about them, that the people who are supposed to love them and protect them have abandoned them or even allowed their abuse. Those ignored by people who would rather focus on the outward holiness of the abusers than believe their victims.

 You may have been abused by a parent, a relative, a pastor, a youth minister, a priest, a spouse, someone your own age. You may not have suffered physical or sexual abuse, but suffered for years under verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse. You may have been oppressed by toxic messages coming from the pulpit and the youth conventions and the Christian radio programs, the books and YouTube channels and people in your own life.

 And a lot of these people may very well have been well-meaning. They may have thought they were helping you. Not those who abused you, of course, but those who encouraged you to “forgive and forget.” Those who made excuses for your abuser's “struggle with sin.” Those who told you to submit to your husband or turn the other cheek. As the saying goes, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

 In this blog, I want to break down the toxic messages and beliefs that keep so many women from living a rich, abundant life in Christ. I'm not talking about “health and wealth” or any of that nonsense. I'm talking about the peace and love and joy that God wants you to have. The freedom from toxic messages and toxic beliefs. The freedom to live and thrive and fulfill your purpose that He has given you.

 This blog will step on a lot of toes. Maybe even yours. But pray about what you read. Do your own research. Read your Bible daily, and get to know God and His words. Read the Gospels. Get to know Jesus. He died for you. He loves you. He wants you to live a rich, fulfilling life. He said it Himself.
 “I came that you might have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

 And remember, Jesus's biggest enemies were not the Roman government or the pagan worshipers or the debauchery all around Him. They were those who taught in the Temple of God, the religious zealots who twisted the words of the scriptures to oppress others and play “holier than thou.”   
 Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

 Please come with me on this journey of hope and healing. Not everything will apply to everyone. Take what you need and leave the rest. In time, you will have peace. It might take awhile. It might be years. Decades, even. But it is possible.

 Paul says in I Corinthians that we suffer so we can help comfort others in their suffering. That's what I'm doing here. And I hope you will pass the torch to those around you. Comfort them. Teach them. Send them here. Send them to other sites and teachers that have helped you.
 Go in peace. Remember, God sees you. You are not alone in your pain.

  
 Scriptures English Standard Version (ESV), from Bible Gateway

 Genesis 16:13 (with footnotes) – So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,”[1] for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” [2]  Genesis 16:13 Or You are a God who sees me  Genesis 16:13 Hebrew Have I really seen him here who sees me? Or Would I have looked here for the one who sees me?

 John 10:10–  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

  2 Corinthians 1:3-5 – Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.